It’s been one month. One-half of the trial period I set for myself to see what I think of this side gig. And I have to say, I’m happy I’m still in.
For those of you who don’t know, my side gig is Rodan + Fields – a skincare company founded by the dermatologists who created Proactiv. It’s turn-key entrepreneurship, network marketing, and much to my surprise, full of genuinely cool people. I mean, I knew the woman who sponsored me was cool and genuine…but it’s skin care, so on some level I kinda expected to feel like I was back in high school trying to sit at the cool kids’ lunch table. Deep down I fully anticipated being found out as the left-of-center dork who talks too much, laughs too loud, and knocks shit over when I get really enthusiastic about something. There was no way I wouldn’t be ceremonially escorted away from the cool lunch table within a very short time.
But that’s not what happened.
Because 1) those girls at the cool kids’ table were insecure too, and felt as though they might be found out and booted from the group at any moment too, and 2) everyone needs good skin care, not just beauty queens and aging screen actresses. Wanting your skin to look and feel its best is something we can all relate to. So Rodan + Fields is peopled with every type of person you can imagine (yep, guys too). I went to a training seminar this month and sat near a loud, boisterous woman with a bleached mohawk and tattoos, who has been outrageously successful in her business. Because Rodan + Fields is about skin – and we all have skin – and because this type of business works when you stay 100% true to who you are and what your network of friends and family love about you.
Don’t get me wrong, there have been a lot of awkward moments this month, and there will be more awkward moments next month – the joys and the cringes have alternated regularly since the moment I said yes. I’m stepping way outside of my comfort zone with this. But as long as I remember to stay inside of my wheelhouse, getting out of my comfort zone is a very good thing.
It’s interesting, the first thing they had me do when I started my business is figure out my ‘why’. Why am I doing this? What do I hope to get out of it? And they had me boil it down and boil it down until I’d hit the core of why I was really doing this. The reason I was going to keep doing it even on the tough days, even after I’d embarrassed myself or ‘verbal vomited’ all over someone…the reason not to give up. So it can’t just be, “to help supplement my family’s income”, but it can be, “to give me a feeling of self-worth and independence”, or “to keep me from feeling terrified and helpless when unexpected bills show up”.
It turns out my ‘why’ doesn’t have that much to do with money, it has to do with my fear of success (if you’re not familiar with that quirky tendency of mine, read all about it here). The reason I’m doing this, and doing it long enough to give it a fair shot, is because I’m determined to blast through that dancing maniac in front of the finish line. This time I’m not planning out what I’ll say when I fail, or freaking out at what will happen when I fail. I’m choosing success. I have all of the resources I need to succeed at this – I mean, it’s turn-key entrepreneurship with built-in mentors, for pete’s sake – so there’s no reason not to let myself have that, no reason not to finally know what financial success feels like.
I finished my first novel last year – my greatest non-kid-related accomplishment so far – but it wasn’t a financial success, you know? I’m not trying to knock it, I freaking love that book, but my fear of success kept me from really promoting it in a way that would get it off of the bookshelves. The idea of having that book sell like hotcakes scared the crap out of me, so both in real life and in my spiritual realm, I sabotaged its success.
That’s why I’m not walking away from Rodan + Fields. That’s why I’m going to continue with the awkward conversations until they aren’t awkward anymore. That’s why I’m going to keep going back to my mentors, the women who have done all of this already, and why I’m going to remain ‘coachable’. Not because I need the money, not because I’m stubborn or worried about people laughing at me. Because I’m tired of sabotaging myself.
I’m so freaking tired of sabotaging myself.
Yesterday I agreed to be a part of a jump-start training program that is going to push me harder than I’ve been pushed in a very long time. But just like the nurses I encountered on the chemo floor, the women on my team are going to be with me every step of the way. “This is going to be really hard,” they tell me, “but we’re here, we’re with you, we’ve got your back.” I never thought I’d find that kind of immediate, unwavering support anywhere outside of cancer treatment, honestly. I’m sitting here a sobbing mess just thinking about it.
If I contact you, and I probably will, be kind. Be honest. If what I’m doing sounds intriguing and you want to talk about it, let me know. If you’re ready to upgrade your skin care, let me know. If this is your year, and like me you’re determined to blast through some personal barriers, I can personally vouch for having one of those teams that will push you and support you and keep you safe while you put that foot outside of your comfort zone.
And you will never, ever get kicked off of the cool kids’ lunch table.